minstrlmummr | Apparently, "I Am The Slayer"....

(Man and Woman in Amazon River.    Terrified Woman is bawling her head off):

Man:    What's wrong NOW??!!
Woman: (wails) YOU SAID WHEN WE GOT TO THE BOTTOM I COULD CRY ALL I WANT!!!!!!!!!!
Man (holds Woman, awkwardly patting her back):   Oh.     So I did.    Go ahead....knock yourself out....
                                                 ---------Sean Connery and Lorraine Bracco, "Medicine Man"

There's no delicate way to say this...

Monday morning while getting ready for work, I found a tick on in my arm.     (ew.)
Picture of a woman partly on automatic pilot as she deals with Teh EwYuck:
**rummagerummagerummage**
"Put oil on it, suffocate it..."
**pours oil**    (legs moving.   Eeww...)
"Oh, wait.    That's to kill head lice.     Damn...."
**Googles on "tick removal" with oil-covered arm...**
**rummagerummagerummage**
"GoddamLOUSYtimetofindoutNOTWEEZERZ!!!!!!!!    Need plierz, plierz, plierz..."
**rummagerummage, grasp handles**
"Plierz!!!"
**SNIP**     (procedure was not performed completely.      EEWWW...)
"I didn't know I had wire cutters.    Damn..."
**rummagerummagerummage, finds leatherman which, among other things, contains...**
"PLIERZZ!!!!!"
***completes extraction procedure, scrubs arm, scrambles to make train WITH clothes on, sits on train...***

Then, AFTER the danger's over, THEN I have the reaction--

"ew."

"EEWWW."

"EEEEWWWW!!!!!"

Where the hell is Sean Connery (or some other nice guy, I'm not picky) when I need him?