Hormonal Haiku

From the front lines of the progesterone wars:

Ever since I saw the "South Park" kids making up haiku, I cannot recite one without counting out the syllables on my fingers as I go.

With no further ado, and with apologies to   gurdymonkey   ---

puffy pink fingers
holding water, camel-like
don't go near the scale

estrogen weirdness
dark chocolate-coated rare steak
would taste good right now

SMILING AS I DREAM
STOMPY-STOMPY, STABBY-STAB
DON'T GET IN MY WAY